I want a woman who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don’t already know, and make me laugh. I don’t care what you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care about your feelings. Just have something in there.

—Henry Rollins (via toostoked)

(Source: ryansbussard, via toostoked)

  • grandma: DO YOU WANT AN APPLE
  • me: no thanks grandma
  • grandma: HERES YOUR APPLE

Still waiting for a girl who actually wants a nice guy as much as she claims she does

Paranormal Activity was about Manti Te’o’s girlfriend and I never knew